Recently during a facial at Massage Envy, I was introduced to an amazing healer named Sandy. What started out as a much needed, un-clogging of the pores, wound up being a transcendent un-clogging of my chakras, my spirit with a sincere validation of my own energies to heal myself (and others), and to exercise SILENCE, (this was my time for solitude and reflection) For those of you who know, me, imagine my horror and dismay that I was going to STOP TALKING) This was my message and I was told that this was to be my year of transformation. Sandy didn’t even have to say much to me, she just ‘knew’ me. We connected on a level that led to a conversation about Radical Forgiveness. She recommended that I read a book out there written by Colin Tipping who through his gift of prose, I give all the credit to for allowing me to revolutionize my thinking around healing relationships, letting go of anger and blame (BIG ONE) and to Find Peace in any situation. I attribute Colin Tipping with my new way of forgiving…..and am most humbled and grateful……
The BIG aha, lightbulb moment for me as I devoured the pages of his amazing book is that ‘things are not always what they seem’ What appears to us to be nasty and cruel behavior on somebody’s part might be EXACTLY what we NEED to CHANGE and what WE have indeed called forth. WHAT? I asked for this abuse? Come on I thought, WHY would I call this uncomfortableness into my life? He teaches that, situations that appear to be the worst thing that could possibly befall us HOLD THE KEY TO OUR HEALING SOMETHING DEEP WITHIN US THAT KEEPS US FROM BEING HAPPY AND PREVENTS OUR GROWTH! What did he say? Did I read that correctly? Oh man!!!
Colin Tipping goes on to share that “the people who seem to us to be the most troublesome and the least likable may therefore be OUR GREATEST TEACHERS. What we think they do TO US, they actually do FOR US.” I just about fell out of my chair, and dropped the book in my lap and took the deepest breath of truth – I had ever experienced. I mean, many Yoga teachers told me of this notion, that when something resonates with you and it’s your truth, you take this deep breath of honesty and awareness. I was so enlightened at this moment, that I knew I was on a path to something wonderful.
Tipping teaches us that beneath every apparent circumstance of every situation exists a wholly (I like to say HOLY) different reality. On the surface is the ‘drama’ of what is actually happening, it isn’t pretty, it feels cruel and feels to us as if it’s insensitive and we fall into the role of victim. How EASY WE FALL……. it’s at this point that our soul begins to dance with the souls of others and where we can actually benefit if we stop, breathe and shift our perspective to the possibility that this is NOT about TRADITIONAL forgiveness that takes into account our 5 senses where we feel wronged and badly treated and that if we forgive, we just accept what was done and try our best to let it go or ‘let bygones be bygones. ‘Traditional forgiveness naturally takes it as a given that something wrong happened.’ RADICAL FORGIVENESS, ON THE OTHER HAND, TAKES THE POSITION THAT NOTHING WRONG HAPPENED AND THAT, CONSEQUENTLY, THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE.
Colin puts it simply like this: With traditional forgiveness, the willingness to forgive is present but so is the residual need to condemn. Therefore victim consciousness is maintained and nothing changes.
With Radical Forgiveness, the willingness to forgive is present, but NOT THE NEED TO CONDEMN. Therefore victim consciousness is dropped and EVERYTHING CHANGES. (Victim consciousness is defined as the conviction that someone else has done something bad to you, and, as a direct result, they are responsible for the lack of peace and happiness in your life.)
I don’t know about you, but for me this is HUGE! What a difference in ‘thinking’ and what a difference this has on my spirit and how I sort for things every single day.
I learned that TRADITIONAL FORGIVENESS is firmly rooted in our physical world and in the reality of most human beings. It calls each of us to utilize our finest of human qualities and characteristics, like compassion, mercy, tolerance, humility, kindness and grace. Once you move to RADICAL FORGIVENESS, you call upon DIVINE TRUTH, you vibrate at a higher level of energy, your body becomes lighter and you become NOT a spirit seeking to have a human experience, but a human seeking to have an awakened soul and you can remember once more the truth of WHO YOU ARE…..peace and love and salt and light to a world of people who are lost, haven’t found divine intervention and who stay stifled in mental midgetry and continue to suffer, over and over and over and become Emotional Vampires. Most of us need a transfusion almost every single day from these unenlightened saddened victims.
Deep stuff today, I know. But if you take time to sit with this and meditate on it and begin to own it, I believe that the world we live in would be such a better space. Imagine no more victims???
So, can you seek to learn Radical Forgiveness or will you stay stuck in Traditional Forgiveness that holds you prisoner, that holds you back? For me, I am seeking the path of the Peaceful Warrior. My thoughts today for myself and for each of you is to return to your pew, your yoga mat, your alter, your space of peace and get into meditation, prayer, yoga, breath work, dancing and whatever makes your heart and soul leap for joy. Allow yourself to ‘vibrate’ and cause others to wonder, what is she on? I want some of that for me….
Share with me your path of forgiveness, Namaste!