Night Wrestling with the angels~

Sleepless in Nutley, yet again.  Restless and anxious about all the changes that are taking place within my life.  And somehow they are all happening at once – The awareness comes daily and the willingess is here, but at night, as I try to fall asleep, the courage falters and I begin to fear…I play the ‘what if…..?’ game and sleep doesn’t come easy. 

A long time ago, I read a book called:  Night Wrestling – and it involved a theory that at night, we wrestle with the angels because during the day we are too busy for God to gain our attention.  So, at night, when we finally settle down, issues that need to be addressed, problems that need to be resolved, and the ability to listen is heightened and the angels come to speak to us on behalf of God.  As we labor to fall asleep, they tug at our heartstrings and cause us to reflect and become aware of the changes that need to occur.  I was never much of a wrestler, but the concept resonates with me.  For the last several years, at least as far back as I can remember, no matter when I go to bed, I always awaken at exactly 3:23 a.m.   I have no idea the significance of the number, or time, but it’s constant and I can depend upon it.  It’s the kind of awakening that is like you never slept.  Lately, I get up and journal, or read, or I pray. 

As I work on changing my mind and seeking freedom from an inability to let go and learning to practice radical forgiveness – it seems as if I am being bombarded with opportunities to be stretched.  I have experienced more ways to forgive over the last 11 weeks than I dare say has been comfortable.  I am challenged more than ever now, since I set my intention to stop being an imperative person and to loosen up on the grip of control.  It seems as if once I said it, the universe has sent me all sorts of trials and tribulations in my personal life, in my friendships, and my relationships, and in general. 

During these sleepless in Nutley nights, the darkness and quiet in the house helps to create a tomb of dissapointments, regrets, sadness, worries and a perpetuation of that which we put aside during the day.  When morning approaches thing seem different and a new perspective is had. 

A lot of my girlfriends tell me that they have been having difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep too.  How are you handling your own version of Night Wrestling?  Any advice for insomnia and what you’ve done to get over getting to sleep-


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