We’ve all been there. Said something we shouldn’t have said. Repeated something that at first appeared innocent, or was just a comment to be ‘part of the group, part of the conversation’. As soon as it’s left your lips and rolled off your tongue, you realized you’ve just hung yourself.
I have learned this life lesson, the hard way, many times over. Each time the sting of the ‘tack’ as it pierces our tongue should be pain enough to remember to never speak ill of someone, gossip, or repeat something we aren’t 100% certain of. What makes us repeat this behavior? For some, it’s merely fitting in. For others, it can create a false sense of acceptance, the appearance of being now a part of the ‘inner circle’.
For lack of a better way to express it, I think that this tongue wagging is a direct mirror to the soul. We all suffer from low self-esteem. We all suffer from feeling left out, and no one that I have ever met loves a secret, especially when you know someone has one and they haven’t shared it with you.
I have been in situations where the truth was known to me, but not to the others around me . The story-tellers were ‘shifting’ the storyline, and creating such a state of inquisitiveness with their audience, that they kept on imbedding more and more into the story, until it little resembled the reality of the situation. I always feel bad when I am in that situation, because I want to blurt out the truth, but then I am betraying the confidence of the person who shared their moment with me and risk appearing to me causing a stir as the attention shifts to me. This is such a difficult situation.
A few posts back I reflected upon courageous conversations, saying what you mean and meaning what you say, seeking first to understand before being understood, pausing before reacting, taking a mental/emotional time-out for yourself and even giving yourself 24 hours before you react. We all know that life is 20% of what happens to us and 80% how we react to it. What is the reaction stemming from? Again, it all goes back to self – esteem.
I have been told in the past that I have the kind of personality that’s on fire!’ It is the kind of magnetism that can light the world up (on fire) or burn it down (by fire) Scary analogy. I now know it to be true. Happiness is a choice. Anger is a choice. When we speak is a choice. When we don’t speak is a choice. Maybe it comes down to self-discipline, I believe its time I look in my own hand-mirror and ask myself some courageous questions. Maybe it’s time to just be quiet. Just reflect. Just feel. Stop seeking to know.
It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks of me. It matters most what I think of myself. My tongue is tired. It’s tired of defending my feelings, tired of debating my beliefs, weary of giving advice and hurts from being pierced by the thumb-tacks of the repercussions of speaking first and thinking later.
Have you had the experience and tendencies to be hung by your tongue?
Let me know how you practice to find the Sounds of Silence…….and keep your tongue feeling fresh………………..